california - january 2014
y’all getting really specific like “where are all the indie boys with messy shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes who are between 6’ and 6’4 whose favourite vampire weekend album is contra but knows mvotc is their best album and drinks their coffee black with 3.2 sugars and smokes cheap cigarettes on a balcony at 2:23 am” like….. chill
person: so what have you been up to
me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush…
person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets
me: oh it’s nothing..
filling out a job application
“are you available for a Skype interview?”
mom: are you ever gonna clean your room?
i talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t choose rude dialogue options in games because i’m scared of hurting a characters feelings